Lifestyles of the Magical and Famous
by Gryffindor Gurl
Summary: Sam & Ashy find themselves in the wizarding world, and to their surprise, its as world as hell! Hilarious story for HP fans alike!!
1. Chapter 1: Witches, Bitches, and Freaks

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A/N: This is the story of me (GryffindorChic) and my friend Ashley (Reika) being transported from our homes into the world magical world of Harry Potter (Very funny)

Abbreviations:

LMFAO - Laughing My Fucking Ass Off

LOL, lol Lol - Laughing Out Loud

LMAO - Laughing My Ass Off

JK - Just Kidding

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Lifestyles of the Magical and Famous

By GryffindorChic

Sam, an odd, 13 year old girl was sitting on her computer chair, sitting in front of her Windows XP computer.

Sam: *starts typing things to Ashy on MSN* Did You Know I had braces?

Ashy: No Xd

Sam: Well now you know. Anyways, I'm writing a story about me and you being sucked into the "magical world of HP"

Ashy: LOL

Sam: You want to read it?

Ashy: K ^_^

Sam: *sends Ashy the story* It starts off with us talking on MSN, and then we both say "LOL" at the same time then we're both sucked into the "magical world of HP" and then we see everyone arriving at Hogwarts, and we see Harry, Ron, Draco, Hergayione etc etc …

Sam & Ashy: LOL

Suddenly, both girls are transported from their computers to Hogwarts and they're both in Gryffindor uniforms looking down at the lake that was flooding with boats and bright yellow lights. 

Sam: OMG .. What happened? *Looks at Ashy* who the fuck are you?

Ashy: OMG .. Who the fuck are you???!! 

Sam: I'm Sam! Who the fuck are you?

Ashy: Ashywipez … I mean Ashley

Sam: OMG ASHSHITZ!! THAT'S YOU OMG OMG OMG OMG *screams*

Ashy: Samass! *Screams then hugs Sam*

Sam: Where are we? *Looks around*

Ashy: Dunno *looks confused*

Sam: *hears May It Be by Enya from the Lord of the Rings in the background* what the fuck .. *Turns around and sees a floating witch kinda thing*

Ashy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S HERMIONE

Sam: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH GODZILLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *runs into the main entrance of Hogwarts*

Enya: POSESSSEDDDDDD 

Ashy: OH NO IT'S HERMIONE'S MOM AHHHHHHH *runs into the entrance*

Sam: Ashy …I think .. I think … I think … *turns around and sees Hagrid and tons of students including Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco*

Ashy: DRACO *screams*

Sam: You faggit! Don't scream!! Come on!! *Drags Ashy along with her into the great hall while Ashy drools over Malfoy*

Ashy: *stares at her golden plate* Where food?

Sam: OMG *stares at plate then looks at Ashy* NO FOOD

Ashy: Maybe Dora's backpack will have it … 

Sam: Sayyyyyy BACKPACK!

Ashy: Delisioso! *Giggles then food appears on the plate*

Sam: I WANT THE BACKPACK

Ashy: MINE

Sam: MINE BITCH

Ashy: Get Out of the way

Sam: Bitch

Ashy: Get out of the way!

Now, the whole great hall was filled with students and teachers, so Ashy and Sam were finding it rather hard to "fit in" with the Brits.

Sam: Ashy … help me … *nudges Ashy in the shoulder and shows her that Harry Potter, the gorgeous n' hot Gryffindor was sitting next to her, trying to start up a conversation with her, but she ignored him*

Ashy: OOO Sammy going to get it on tonight with the boi who lived!! *Sings* Sexual HEALINGGGGGGG 

Sam: *sings along with Ashy* When I get that feeling I want sexual healing, sexual … healinggggggg

Harry: Uh .. Could you pass the potatoes please? *Smiles at Sam*

Sam: *tries to talk in a British accent* Wot?

Ashy: What? *Realises Sam's talkin in an accent* I mean … wot?

Sam: *accent* Do you reckon you could pass me the po-tay-ters to Harry?

Ashy: *whispers 2 Sam* British accent not Country!

Sam: Wot .. Er.. *Passes the potatoes to Harry* here you go 'Ary

Harry: Airy?

Sam: I mean Hairy .. No … shit ..

An hour passed by and Sam and Harry were engaged in a deep conversation, while Ashy was trying to explain to Hermione why everyone thought she was gay.

Ashy: *rubs chin* you see here Hermione, in the world of hormones, smartness is stupid. Meaningless. You don't need smarts to be "da best".

Hermione: So you're saying, if I drop the books, everyone will like me?

Ashy: Hold up!!! What you talkin' bout girl? You're a muggle-born. PURE FAGGIT *just remembers she's a muggle-born too* Uh … it's okay to be a muggle-born …

Hermione: Well … I've always wanted this one boy at Hogwarts to like me … *blushes then smiles*

Ashy: *makes a weird face because she saw Hermione's GIGANTIC BUCK TEETH* AHHHHHHHHHH *Enya appears again*

Hermione: MOMMY!!

Enya: May it BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE an evening STARRRRR *right when she sees Ashy she goes into her brain*

Enya in Ashy's brain: You are useless. A piece of shit. Go dance in front of Draco Malfoy's plate and sing, "I'm A Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears and dance like a slut right now!

Ashy: *flies like Enya across the Great Hall then twirls into hooker clothing, jumps in front of Draco's spot in the Slytherin table then starts singing*

Ashy: I'm a SLAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 4 U! *Points to Draco to come over to her*

Draco: Sweet!!! *Jumps onto the table then starts dancing with Ashy*

Everyone in the Great Hall, yes even the teachers, were dancing and cheering until about midnight. Buy one in the morning, all the Gryffindors were partying till all their butter beers were gone and wouldn't refill themselves. 

Harry: *talks like he's drunk even though he is* So tell me Sam … *sips butter beer* How did ya get so darn bloody sexy?

Sam: *drunk* Dunno Harry Pothead .. *Smokes some weed* You want weed?

Harry: What's weed?

Sam: Grass

Harry: What's Grass?

Sam: Shit

Harry: Nice ….

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Slytherin Common Room 

Ashy: *drunk as well but in the Slytherin common room* Draco .. I never knew you were so good at this .. *falls asleep*

Draco: Hell ya! WOO HOOOOOOO *plays around with his "wand", spraying "stuff" all over the walls*

Marcus Flint: Bloody hell … *picks up a mirror* Draco … what did you do to my teeth?

Draco: Er .. What?

Marcus: What did you spray on it?

Draco: uh ..

Marcus: It's better then Crest White-strips! Now I can go to the orthodontist and get braces!

Draco: *stares at him blankly then keeps spraying his "stuff*

Snape: What is the meanin for this *starts spitting* WHAT IN THE WORLD

Draco accidentally sprayed his "stuff" in Snape's mouth, so now Snape is pissed. 

A/N: **Never ever get a bad evil freak pissed children!**

Snape: *licks his lips* It tastes … salty … like PRETZELS!!!

Draco: *runs away, taking Ashy with him*

Snape: Come back here Draco Malfoy!

Draco: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Gryffindor Common Room

Sam and Harry are now totally hooked to weed, grass or shit. Whatever you want to call it!

Sam: Yumness .. *Smokes*

Harry: You are so hot Sam … *smokes*

Sam: heh heh I know … *smokes*

Professor McGonagall: *storms into the common room* WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!

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A/N: Oh dear, it looks like Sam and Harry are in trouble now. Who will save them now? And what about Draco, Ashy and Snape and this "salty pretzel stuff"?? Tune in next time on "**Lifestyles of the Magical and Famous**"


	2. Chapter 2: Drugledore

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A/N: Thanks for the reviews. If you'd like a cameo in the story, just email me (superstar_sam@hotmail.com) new character alert! I have a guest writer who writes some of the story (She's Luxish McGee LOL)

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Lifestyles of the Magical and the Famous - Drugledore

A week had gone by since Ashy, Sam and the rest of Hogwarts little ordeal during the first day back. Harry and Sam had become so tight that even Ron got a little jealous at times while Snape was always cautiously licking his lips while he saw Ashy and Malfoy holding hands. Ashy and Sam were running late for potions class then all of the sudden the stairs changed and they were greeted by another Hogwarts student by the name of Luxish McGee.

Ashy: What .. The .. Hell … ? *Looks at the staircases moving one by one*

Sam: Meh .. *Hears freaky laughing from upstairs* Hmm .. Sounds like Snape … I guess that *points to one room with a giant eagle standing guard* is the room for potions.

Luxish McGee: Harry … HARRY WHERE ARE YOU??!! HARRY DAMNIT WHERE ARE YOU *runs around like a mad scientist with a digital camera in her hand*

Ashy: Oh look .. It's Colin Creevy the 2nd ..

Sam: OOO BURNNNNNN

Luxish: Need some ice for that burn??

Sam: Oh yeahhhhhhh wait .. Who the hell are you?

Luxish: Luxish, Luxish McGee. I'm a pre-neurosurgeon extraordinaire. I operate on any creature you'd wish me too … let's see .. Hagrid … hmm yes … *mutters to herself* Hmm Hagrid was a hard one .. Too much hair …

Ashy: Uh .. Right. Come on Sam let's go. *Starts walking up the stairs towards the giant eagle*

You don't want to know how long it took for the three Gryffindors to reach the "Potions" classroom. Eventually they made it there, but there was one problem. What was the password?

Sam: *bangs hands on the eagle* Hello?!

Eagle: What's the fucking password?

Ashy: PASSWORD … WHAT PASSWORD?

Luxish: OMG I bet Harry's in there! Harry Harrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Sam & Ashy: *stare blankly at Luxish* Right …

They stood there for 10 minutes, saying all these random words and they were so random, it was scary.

Luxish: Work It!

Sam: I need a glass of-

Ashy: Wata!

Then suddenly, the eagle moved its big huge fat ass that reminded Ashy so much of Hermione that she nearly collapsed.

Ashy: I'm okay … *still looks freaked out*

Sam, Ashy & Luxish: *hears "Because I Got High" by Afroman in the background*

Afroman: *inside the "potions" classroom* Dumbledore … man, you one good druggie … mm hmmm

Dumbledore: *starts humming the theme from "Because I Got High"* I was gonna clean my room until I got high

Afroman & Dumbledore: *sings* because I got high, because I got high!! Ladadadada!!

Dumbledore: Oh dear .. It looks like Fawkes has joined in on the fun! Yes, join in old friend.

Fawkes: *wearing "cool" black shades then Dumbledore stuck a piece of weed in his mouth and he started smoking*

Sam: Er …

Ashy: Um …

Luxish: … That isn't the potions classroom. Why don't we open the door and ask them for the directions to potions?

Sam: Sure .. Why not? *makes a screwed up face*

Ashy: Yeah .. Eh heh

Sam: Uh Professor Dumble- WAH?! *stops in her tracks because of what she sees*

Dumbledore: *stops singing and sees Sam and the others* Hello dear er.. Hogwarts students! Come join Afroman and me in some CRACKpot

Luxish: *looks around the off office for Harry* *pokes Ashy* Where Harry?

Ashy: Dunno .. don't care. Uh. We just came for directions ..

Dumbledore: To your potions class I suspect?

Sam: How did you know?

Dumbledore: *points to a punch of 4th years smoking pot* they joined in on the fun too. 3 years ago .. *sigh* who cares about class, come join us!!

Luxish: SKIP CLASS?!?! we could get in lots of trouble and we won't be able to catch up on all of our homework

Afroman stuck some weed close to Luxish's nostrils and Luxish unknowingly takes a swipe at the magical weed. Sam & Ashy quickly head towards the door but Dumbledore placed a magical spell preventing them from leaving the room. 

Ashy & Sam: CRAP

Dumbledore: it's not crap young ladies, it's weed

Luxish: maaaaagical weed

Luxish was clearly overtaken by the potent grass. Soon Sam & Ashy joined in on the fun until a loud banging interrupted their party. 

"Dumbledore open the damn door" a high-pitched evil voice shouted out.

Dumbledore: What Snape? 

Snape hissed back 

Snape: I need to talk to you. 

Sam, Luxish and Ashy were too high to even take into account that Snape was about to enter the room. 

Snape opened the door and gasped. There they were, Ashy, Sam, and Luxish on the ground unconscious with smiles on their faces. 

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A/N: OOOO WHAT HAPPENED??? R/R and you'll find out!!


	3. Chapter 3: Dangerous Wands

A/N: I have stolen this chapter from Sammy! Mwahaha! No. We're both writing it.. I'm just doing the A/N D MWAHAHA... - (Sam: Haha very funny Ashy, I helped with this chapter too, afterall its MY story lol)  
  
Lifestyles of the Magical and Famous - Dangerous Wands  
  
  
And so Snape found rather happy looking students laying unconcious on the floor. Ashy, Sam and Luxish. All sorts of disturbing thoughts and what COULD happen that moment. That is, until Drugledore-er-Dumbledore greeted him.  
  
Dumbledore: Ah, Professor Snake, come join us will you?  
  
Afroman immediately stuck some weed up his noise. Like Luxish, Snape took an unknowingly sniff and was dazed a few seconds later. Forgetting what he was going to talk about with Dumbledore, he sat down with Afroman and Dumbledore, singing with them.  
  
Dumbledore & Afroman & Snape: *singing loudly* I was gonna clean my room until I got high, I gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high!!  
  
Ashy: *waking up with a smile* Huh?  
  
Sam: Oh..heh heh, I like it when you touch me there Harry..*giggles more in her unconcious state*  
  
Ashy: What the fuck?!  
  
Sam: *snaps awake and sits up* What?!  
  
Luxish: Harry..heh...heh...*moves around in her sleep*  
  
Ashy: I don't want to know...  
  
Snape: *singing* I was gonna make love to you but then I got high, I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high!  
  
Ashy: Erm- *backs away* Rright...  
  
Snape, Dumbledore and Afroman were far too busy smoking it up to notice the three students awake.  
  
Sam: Luxish wake up! And stop dreaming about my man! *slaps Luxish*  
  
Luxish: No!!!!!! *gets up and takes a picture of Dumbledore, Snape and Afroman* We're in trouble! They're in trouble! *tries to get out the door*  
  
Ashy: You stupid monkey! Dumbledore magically locked the door, so now we helpless students have to face the intoxicating smell of this room and listen to Snape sing horribly!!  
  
Sam & Luxish: *stare at Ashy* Oh..kay..  
  
Ashy: HELP US! *bangs on the door* Let us out!!  
  
So all three students start banging on the 'door'. Until the fat ass eagle statue turns around and faces them.  
  
Ashy: AHHHH!!  
  
Snape, Dumbledore and Afroman still singing in the background.  
  
Eagle: The password?  
  
Sam: Uh, what was it again??!  
  
Luxish: Work it!  
  
Sam: I need a glass of-  
  
Ashy: Piss!! I need to go piss!!  
  
Eagle: Wrong!  
  
Sam: You ruined it BITCH! *slaps Ashy*  
  
Ashy: *dumbfounded* Ruined what?  
  
Luxish: The password! We need to get out! MOMMY!  
  
Sam: K, let's try this again..  
  
Luxish: I need Harrry  
  
Sam: Shut up bitch! *slaps Luxish*  
  
Ashy: *sings* P-M-S!! Sammy has P-M-S!!  
  
Sam: Shut up! *punches Ashy*  
  
Ashy: Ow..  
  
Luxish: Work it!  
  
Sam: I need a glass of-  
  
Ashy: OW! You fucking hurt me! *slaps Sam*  
  
Sam: Now dont you start girl!! *bitch slaps Ashy then Harry comes out of nowhere*  
  
Harry: I've been looking for you everywhere!!  
  
Luxish: HARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps on top of him*  
  
Ashy: *BIG GASP* She's taking advantage of him! POOR LITTLE HARRY! Hey Sam, is Harry's wand little? *snicker*  
  
Sam: *doesn't get it* Well, I think his wand is 9 inches or something..  
  
Harry: HEEELLPPPP  
  
Luxish: *looks excited* 9 inches?! WOW HARRY!!!  
  
Sam: Wtf?! LUXISH!! GET OFF OF HIM *helps Harry up then kicks Luxish* U ok?  
  
Harry: Sure.. I think I broke my wand though..  
  
Ashy: *ANOTHER BIG GASP* LUXISH! You ruined Sammy's pleasure time! YOU BROKE HIS WAND!!  
  
Sam: WHAT?!  
  
Luxish: Ahh!! I broke his wand?! I'm sorry! I didn't even get to take a picture of it! I'm sorry Harry!  
  
Harry: My poor wand snapped in half..  
  
Sam: BITCH! *slaps Luxish* Dun worry Harry, we'll buy you a new one  
  
Ashy: *confused* How the hell do you do that?  
  
Sam: I have my ways Ashy... *evil look* I have my ways  
  
Luxish: Sure...  
  
Ashy: Riight..  
  
Afroman: Yo man! I think I see some pussy! *points at Luxish*  
  
Luxish: Meh?  
  
Snape: My hoe! Come sit on daddy's lap!  
  
Ashy: Wtf?! LET US OUT!! AHHH!!  
  
Harry: I'll protect you Sam.. *looks at Luxish* Uh... Ashy can save you..  
  
Ashy: WHY ME??!!  
  
Sam: Because he says so  
  
Harry: YA!  
  
Ashy: WHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYY  
  
Sam: BECAUSE HE'S THE BOY... WHO...LIVED *Enya comes back*  
  
Ashy: Okay Hermione is upstairs doing her homework Gayna so just fuck off okay?  
  
Sam: I heard Gandalf is available  
  
Enya: He's gay...  
  
Sam: Who said he wasnt a bi???  
  
Ashy: HE'S A HOMO  
  
Harry: Hermione's gay?  
  
Ashy: Ew! Better not be! *gag*  
  
Enya: *slaps Harry* Boy With No Dick better not be talking about my Hermione like that! *slap slap slap* Didn't yo mama teach you anything?  
  
Luxish: Aww! Don't slap Harrrrrryy.. Harry's mama is dead!  
  
Sam: THAT'S IT UR GONNA GET IT *burps so loud that Enya lands in the Whomping Willow*  
  
W. Willow: MY HAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR MY HAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
  
Snape: Baby come sit on daddy's lap!  
  
Luxish: Hellpp mee!!  
  
Ashy: *doesn't bother to*  
  
Sam: ALRIGHT Harry let's get the hell out of here!  
  
Harry: ok babe *disapparates with Sam*  
  
Sam and Harry disappear, leaving Ashy and Luxish with mortified looks.  
  
Ashy: THEY LEFT ME!!  
  
Luxish: HE LEFT MEE!!  
  
They both cry together. Snape wobbles up from his chair and falls flat on his face.  
  
Ashy: He's trying to come over here Luvish!  
  
Luxish: It's Luxish!  
  
Ashy: Whatever! AHH!!  
  
Eagle: Tell me the fucking password and I'll let you out  
  
Ashy: Whoa, where the hell did you come from?  
  
Eagle: I was always here...............  
  
Luxish: Work it!  
  
Ashy: Sam's not here though..  
  
Luxish: Err...that's true. We're DOOOOMED!!  
  
Draco: *appears from no where* Ashley Insert-Your-Last-Name-Here! There you are!  
  
Ashy: *sweatdrop* Eh?  
  
Draco: *grins* I'm here to save you from that perverted Snape! C'mon!  
  
Ashy: YAY! *disapparates with Draco*  
  
Luxish: HEY! YOU LEFT MEEE!!  
  
Snape: Hey bitch! Come here!!  
  
Dumbledore: *coughhack* Snape! Leave the poor creature alone...We have a stock of fourth years over there *points to the smoking students*  
  
Luxish: *cries* WORK IT! I NEED A GLASS OF WATA!  
  
Eagle: *moves his fat ass statue..ass*  
  
Luxish: I'm free!! *runs out of the room and trips* AHH!  
  
Afroman, Dumbledore & Snape: *watch Luxish trip near the stairs*  
  
Luxish: *falls down the stairs and off the side* HAARRRRYYYY  
  
Harry: * kissing Sam* U hear that?  
  
Sam: Nope..  
  
Harry: Okay *continues making out with Sam*  
  
  
So Luxish was finally free from the room..with the exception of risking her life, falling down the stairs!  
  
  
A/N: *snickers* So does Luxish McGee(LMFAO) die or what? Tune into the next dramatic episode of! *DUN DUN DUN* Lifestyles of the Magical and Famous! *Ashy leaves with an evil laugh* *Sam laughs along with Ashy*  
  
Sam: Why are we laughing?  
Ashy: No idea..  
Sam: *keeps laughing*  
Ashy: *laughs with Sam* 


	4. Chapter 4: Smooth Luxish

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Lifestyles of the Magical and the Famous

Chapter 4: Smooth Luxish

While Sam and Harry continued making out in the Gryffindor Common Room, Luxme was having a little adventure of her own.

Luxme: AHHHHHHHHH! *Trips down the stairs, falls on her ass then lands face forward onto the ground*

Dumbledore: *shakes head* That girl didn't have enough weed. She should have died immediately and turned into a ghost!

Afroman & Snape: *nod in agreement*

Finally, Luxme fell to her untimely death, unknown that she was totally finished. Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson started playing, and Luxme turned into a neon green colour and screamed.

Luxme: I'm all green! OMG I'm the same colour as Harry's eyes! AHHHHHHHHHH Matching! That'll show Sam with her goddamn brown eyes! MUA HAHAHAHA

Dumbledore: Dear lord. It's "Smooth Criminal" by Michael Jackson

Afroman: The perfect getting-high-on-weed song!

Snape: I prefer "I'm A Slave 4 U" by Bitchney Spears but, this is okay.

So Snape, Dumbledore and Afroman all had their own little "weed-sniffing" session along with some other Hogwarts students. Meanwhile, Luxme was taking major advantage to the fact that she "A Glowing Freak".

Cho Chang: *sees Luxish then screams* AHHHH CEDRIC HELP ME! *thinks hard and remembers* God damn it! I forgot YOU'RE DEAD *runs away*

Ron Weasley: *stares at Luxish blankly* Ugh, what a slimy git! She looks like she got Blubber puss spilled all over her. I better go get Hermione!

As Luxme went along, scary people, she finally reached the Gryffindor common room. Staring at the painting guarding it, she used the password and searched for Sam and Harry. The common room was empty, thought the fire was still crackling loudly.

Luxme: *sneaks around the common room on her tip toes* Harry Potter Harry Potter Where are you? Where are you? Are you fucking Saaaam? Are you fucking Saaaam? Where the hell are you? Where the hell are you??

Sam: Mmmmm...Harry! That tickles!

Luxme: Saaaam??

Harry & Sam: *they both fall out the common room closet, looking dishelved* Oof!

Luxme: HARRY POTTER! YOU WERE FUCKING SAAAAAM!!

Sam: Wtf??

Harry: *holds wand* move and I will hex you, Luxish McGlee!

Luxme: *snap* I finally got a picture of you holding your wand!

Ashy somehow falls from the sky without her beloved Draco Malfoy.

Ashy: I'm flyyyinng!! 

Luxme: *points* It's an ass!

Sam: No it's an ash!

Harry: No it's piece of ass!!!

Sam: *slaps Harry* I'm sorry! *pats him*

Ashy: *lands on her ass then bounces back up and lands flat on her face*

Sam: Wtf was that?

Harry: The Amazing Bouncing Ass!

Luxme: I'm sure Harry bounces Sam's ass..

Ashy: Ewwwww!! Mental image! OMFG! EWW!! *sobs while sitting upright on her ass*

Harry: Luxish that was nasty..not that I wouldn't mind......*cough*

Ashy: EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! *sobs more*

Sam: Come to think of it! I wouldn't mind either! *evil grin at Ashy*

Ashy: YOU'RE HORRIBLE!!! EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! *crawls into a corner and sobs*

Luxme: Well you probably do!! Harry Potter fucking-

Ashy: STTOPPPPIT!! *runs out of the common room*

Sam: Awww now we made her run out and sob herself to death

Luxme: Well, being kind and courteous of a Gryffindor I am.. Harry let's go find the it! *grabs Harry's hand and quickly drags him away* Muahahaha

Sam: HEY!

Harry: *dragged out of the common room* *SLOW MOTION* SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

And so the-wishing-to-be-Samantha-Potter-InsertOtherHottiesLastNameHere-InsertAnotherHottiesLastNameHere-InsertSomethingSharpOfDominicHere Sam started running after the insane Luxish McGee and her beloved Harry Potter, in slow motion!

Meanwhile, a very distraught Ashy ran down a long, wide hall. She was about to turn a corner when- SMACK!

Ashy: *lands on her again* *sniff* Dammit! Watch where you're going!!

Ron Weasley: Oh, uhm, er, sorry.. *mutters* Let me help you up *offers a hand to Ashy*

Ashy: THANK YOU MISTER RONNIEKINS! *pulls on his hand and helps herself up* 

Ron: Ronniekins?! Bloody hell!

Ashy: Bloody what?

Ron: HELL!

Ashy: Ohhhhhhhh

Luxme, Harry and a chasing Sam enter the hallway. Luxme is dragging Harry in a peculiar slow motion. While Sam is screaming her head off, chasing them, in a slow motion...

Harry: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM....

Luxme: *still running in slow motion while Harry reaches out to Sam*

Sam: I'MMM COOOMMMINNNNGGG.... *slowly trips on a crack in the floor and falls down to her doom* nnnnNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....

Luxme: Muuuuuaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Harry: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM!!

Ron & Ashy: *go slow motion all of a sudden* *BIG SLOW GASP*

Then somehow, time gets it's lazy arse moving and speeds up.

Sam: *quickly crashes to the floor, landing on her face*

Luxme: *her running paces up and she stops infront of Ron and Ashy*

Harry: Sam!

Luxme: *pulls Harry up* You Ok my sweet emerald of the greeny land!?

Harry:...WOT?

Ashy: *sniggers*

Ron: Is she ok? *points to Sam down the hallway*

Sam: *rolls over in fake pain* OH! IT HURTS! BLOODY HELL IT HURTS!!!!!!

Harry: Don't worry Sam! *rushes over to her and helps her up*

Sam: I'M CURED! *fake cries and hugs Harry*

Ashy & Ron & Luxme: *rolls eyes* Oh please...

Sam & Harry: *limp over to the new trio* 

Harry: Finally here! Are you ok Ashy?

Ashy: *blinks*

Luxme: Oh yeah..Are you ok Ashy?! Harry!! You never told me if you were ok! But I guess you're ok! Ok! *looks at Ashy* You ok?

Sam: Err

Ashy: Oh joy! I'm just filled with JOY! *sheepish grin*

Angel light from no where shines down on them.

Ashy: Now that I have those disturbing images out of my head...*chokes back a sob*

Ron: What disturbing image-*eyes widen*

Zel: *runs by, streaking*

Everyone watches the anonymous girl named Zel run down the hall yelling with pride and joy. *sigh*

Ron: Bloody hell! SHE HAD A GOLDEN ASS!

Sam & Ashy & Luxme: *too shocked*

Harry: *nods frantically*

Everyone watches Zel run back from where she came from, screaming this time. A very drugged up Severus Snape was chasing her too. His hands were in front of him in a grabbing motion!

Snape: I NEED A PIECE OF YOUR ASS!!

Zel: LEAVE MY PRECIOUS ASS ALONE!! 

Snape: FOR A POTION!!

They disappear down the hall...

Everyone: *blinks*

Ashy: That was just scary... *backs away into the wall*

Harry: *nods frantically*

Ron: Stop nodding..

Sam & Luxme: *still shocked*

Snape: *falls on top of Zel and starts humping her golden ass* AHHHHHHHHHHHH

Zel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GET OFF OR ELSE THE SHINYNESS WILL RUB OFF *A golden light from the heavens of Middle Earth shines and Enya comes back AGAIN*

Sam: God damn it…

Harry: Not you again!

Ashy: We don't know where your precious Whoremione is okay?

Enya: MAY IT BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THAT I KILL ALL YOU STUPID HOGWARTS STUDENTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Everyone: *blink blink cough cough*

Enya: God damn ittttttttttttttttttt *runs away*

Snape: *now making out with Zel*

Dumbledore: SNAPEY! *screams like a girl*

Snape: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *slow motion again*

Dumbeldore: *runs like a mad cow and screams* YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU PLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEERRRRRRRRRRR


End file.
